I’m back from a weekend away… I went to help our friend Miss Vicky get caught up on her taxes, but I actually helped her get caught up with her bills.

She tends to pay her bills, but then forgets to mail the payment in, so in a month there is a new bill with a past due amount, naturally she remembers paying the bill, so she then makes herself a note to call to find out why they didn’t get the check… she just makes more work for herself, and everything is late. Anyway I helped her get that all figured out.

I also helped pull some receipts out of her files, to give to her tax person, I hope she remembers. I rubber-banned them together and then put a big note on them ” GIVE TO ”

She is used to doing all that stuff herself, and she is very meticulous, her problem is that she tends to get stuck on the first one, but once she writes one check then it all comes back to her and she gets everything done just fine, it’s those bumps in the road that knocks her off course, and when you think about it, that happens to all of us.

And that is what happens in life, after we hit a bump in the road, how easy is it for us to get back on the that road? Some of us have been down some bumpy roads, and we deal easily with the bumps, others down a road that doesn’t have many bumps at all, and the first major bump we get too, knocks us way off course.

Anyway, I’ hoping that when you get knocked off course by a bump in the road, that you take it in stride, and get back on your course

I am feeling bad because I haven’t felt like posting…

The real reason is that sometimes I just don’t feel like sharing what is on my mind.

I am constantly depressed, and I feel bad for being depressed because my life is actually so much better that lots of people…. out there somewhere.

I have a boyfriend/lover/husband that is just the best. He is always kind to me, and does not gets upset at my moods, yes, he know that I have moods, though most people think that I am Suzie fucking sunshine.

I work out, and my body is such that 75% of my friends envy me, yet the real reason I work out, is to help deal me with my depression (and of course I’m not happy with it).

I have no friends, and that is my fault, because I tend to be a solitary person anyway, and I get tired of the people I do know, always needing help or constantly complaining about their lives (and now I’m complaining about mine)

I get cruised all the time, which should not be a problem, but I get cruised by men who want to get married, not someone who just wants to have fun. And the other side of that weirdness, is that when I’m in the city by myself, and I’m getting cruised, I just want to go home.

Okay, enough of that for awhile… When I was a kid I used to get depressed, and go for long bike rides, stop someplace and have a good cry, then I would feel better, I think it is time to get back on my bike and go for a long ride.

thanks for listening

Many times in order to feel grateful, you must practice it, this is the act of looking around at your life and being grateful for what you have, even when it does not seem that what you have, fulfills your need for what you want.

During the month of December, when we all are concerned about buying things, wishing we had more money to buy things for the people we love, and oftentimes we end up resenting the work that we put into that, I’m going to practice gratitude, and see how my attitude can change from the beginning of the month to the end.

~

I am thankful that I have a job. It isn’t the best job, but I get a paycheck every week, and I know that paycheck is good when I deposit it.

I don’t often feel like, that I have a job that challenges me in a way, that causes me to use my brains, but I’m grateful that it is not a high stress job that constantly calls me to answer the phone, listen to vendors complain about past due bills and worry about how we are going to meet payroll.

All right, I’m a little late… But I was busy, well not that busy, But Thursday because Cowboy was sick, we could not go to his sister’s and eat with the relatives, like we had planned.

Well not that he was sick “contagious”, but not feeling well enough for the social things. He just wanted a quiet day at home.

So, that we would have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, I went out Wednesday night and braved the shopping madness, bought everything I needed, and Thursday I cooked… Sweet Potato Pie, Small Turkey, Mashed potatoes, Green Bean Casserole, Bread, Not too much, but enough so it felt traditional.

Traditionally we give thanks on Thanksgiving, but in realty we do much better as persons if we practice gratitude for things that we have in our lives every day.

S in the next couple of days I will write about that.