Its a quiet time for me. not really depressed, just taking stock seeing where I’m at, and if I want to do anything about it.

I haven’t felt like posting lately, not enough going wrong that I feel it is that important to talk about.

but in reality, I never feel that much about talking about my life.

It is easy to see in the eyes of my boss, that he is not really interested in hearing what is happening in anyone else’s life, and that is what turns me off about talking about my life.

It is easy to see that most people aren’t really interested in hearing about your life, because they want to tell you about their life.

Which is a funny thing about blogs, in blogs people take the time to read about your life, and give you encouragement, but in real life it doesn’t happen so much.

Or maybe it doesn’t happen so much to me, because everyone thinks what a great life I have.

And in reality, I must admit that my life is great, sure I don’t have everything I want, but I do have everything I need.

and for that I must be grateful.

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the “apex predator”, can still fall victim to implemented ‘team work’ strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and “survival of the pack mentality” bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing.

Another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing.

The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

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Not for the squeamish

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well, sometimes I need to just reach out…

I’m very much of a loner, though sometimes I long for more contact.

But to tell you the truth I think I’m just too lazy.. there ya have it.

Part of my problem, I think I have a short temper, though you wouldn’t know it. I just don’t want to hear the same thing twice, and I do all the time. So that wears me out, well its just not that fun to hear the same stuff over and over.

It is okay if you have a mental problem, then I can deal up to a point. But I get tired of listening to the same old problem, I guess they just want to be listened to.

Sometimes I think the people should just learn to deal with crap, like my boss sometimes will ask me 20 questions about what some customer wants, when all the customer did was leave his phone number so that my boss could call him, sometimes lately, I tell my boss to just call him. After all, My boss knows, I always ask the customer if there is anything that I can help them with.

I get invited to parties in the City (SF) , but sometimes I just don’t feel like driving there, I’m not some huge wit, that always has an entertaining quip or comment, sometime I feel like a bump on the log.

Part of this whole not very social thing, was my upbringing, we were not allowed to talk at the dinner table, Dad worked six days a week, and we were not allowed to bother him on his day off. Mom was asleep by 8:30 every night, and Dad was asleep in front of the TV.

We weren’t allowed friends over the house, and Mom hated the neighbors. When I was 15 all the kids left home except for me, so now I was the only one there with no one to talk to.

So I got used to being alone, and just doing what I felt like doing.

People think sometimes that I’m stuck-up, but in reality, I’m just keeping quiet so I don’t make a fool of myself.

Not that I mind being a fool, as long as I’M the one playing for laughs.

After all to hear someone laugh is a great joy to me, and it feels even better If I’m the one making them laugh.

later

I was sick, Allergies and a Cold… And once again I’m dealing with stuff left over from the bookstore, and that always depresses me.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel, it seems that in order to make the tax lien go away (better than paying for another 10 years, and it is not a trust tax), but to make that go away, I need to declare Bankruptcy, which is another thing that depresses me.

That is the best choice of the choices I can make.

Life is actually good, we have moved and are settled in a new house, and the rent is cheaper than the old place.

We are in town, but in a place called Hidden Valley which is just that, a valley that is hidden in the middle of town, the Agilent Technologies Site across the street (back entrance) uses sheep to keep their hillside weeds under control, and it is wonderful to hear them. There is also wild turkeys in the area. No neighbors have dogs that live in the area full time, so only when the grand-kids visit next door do we hear any barking dogs. At night, it is so quiet that you can hear the crickets chirp.

In this little valley, there is a couple of farms and vineyards that you really can’t see if you are driving fast, but if you slow down you can see them, and it is way cool.

We have gardens all the way around the house, and no neighbor looks down upon our yard, so we can go out naked in the back

The landscaping is on well water and timers, and the landlady pays a gardener to come once a month and weed and trim. we Just have to water our potted plants, and keep our fountains full, we have four of them.

The inside of the house is both smaller and larger than our old place, only 1 bathroom, and the living room, dining area and kitchen are smaller, but the bedrooms are bigger, and we now have a TV room, and a room which is general storage, Art studio, and pantry.

Miss Vickie continues to get better, and Cowboy is visiting her 3 times a week, instead of 4.

She is getting more comfortable with Cowboy handling her finances, which is good, because sometimes she doesn’t pay her bills, then she pays the same bill 3 times. So Cowboy getting that all up to date, and taking care of it will make things easier on her, we are going to tackle her taxes next.

Yeah, yeah yeah, I know, nothing new to post, well thats just where I am right now. to tell you the truth I’ve been busy…

My partner’s mom/dear friend, (not really his mom, but she is sort of adopted, he has known her for 30 years, and is his first partners mom, he died of Aids), she was in car accident three weeks ago, and he has been there every other day to take care of doctors, lawyers, and her other business, so he has been busy, I go with him on the weekends.

She is in rehap now, and is healing faster that the doctor expected, so that is all good, but it is stress full on Cowboy.

We are getting settled in our new house, but that also takes work, and I am dealing with other personal issues that I want to put behind me soon, and be done with (The Bookstore still), who knew that I would be dealing with stuff 7 years after going out of business.

I started a new painting to get back into my art, I have a easel setup now, and am no longer painting in the bathroom, the new painting is a landscape, it is different for me, I am happy with it so far.

When I get a few minutes I also play small worlds on the Facebook account, kinda stupid, but I like it (and it doesn’t cost)

We start Moving tonight – we have both places for a month