I have been away – and I forgot my password – but am I really back?


I have been involved with the AidsLifecycle ride for 10 years, but last year after the ride I took the year off, the ride is over and I did manage not to get involved for the whole year.

I did host one of the riders who comes from out of town every Friday night, that was good. I will look forward to seeing her again this year.

My friend Greg died this year, I will miss him, he was one of those people who just gives and gives. I think he felt it kept him alive, he wasn’t one of the those people who just curls up and waits to die, he wants to be involved with managing his care, seeing his friends, and living his life as full as he can until, there is no more life to give. I loved him and will miss him. One of my great joys was making myself available to just walk with him twice a week to try to increase his strength, so that he could have the heart surgeries he needed. He did have them, but I think he was ready to go.

Life has big changes coming up soon, more about that  later.

Is it possible that I am able to write again? It has been a long time, and I wonder if I want to start again.

the hill was tough, and yet there are reasons why it was so tough.

one – a dramatic change in our training weather – we have been training at 50 degrees, and Saturday was 80 degrees.

two – the hill is tough.

three – my brain is dead so I can’t think of any other reasons right now, but maybe you did not eat enough carbs, maybe not enough sleep? lots of reason, but it happens and it inset anything to worry about.


but just one of many during the ride… and the reason we do it…

It is good to ride with my friends, and I glad to be able to do it with them. This riding thing is new to them and sometimes they think they won’t be able to make it, but I know they can, after all I did.

They are the reason I ride



I’m back – finally remembered my password and can get back to postings

Bike ride for tomorrow – stay tuned



There is  a void… and emptiness…

There is a song that is no longer being sung.

But in truth…. the phone is no longer calling out… seeking attention, making demands.

no more voices, constantly calling out… “Decisions need to be made, Don’t make the wrong one.”




The universe is the same as it always was, but that voice… is now silent, though it has not spoken for some time.

is the emptiness… relief we feel, or sadness?


This new event brings remembrances of past losses back again… they swim to the surface, leap into your hand, held up to the light, examined and put back in to that bag we call memories…


yet, we know that time will go by… days will go by, after awhile, birds will sing again , though they were never silent, we just did not hear what was always there.

“At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

“When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don’t call this my ‘deathbed.’ Call it my ‘bed of life,’ and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

“Give my sight to a man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby’s face or love in the eyes of a woman.

“Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

“Give my blood to the teenager who has been pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

“Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

“Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

“Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her windows.

“Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

“If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all my prejudice against my fellow man.

“Give my soul to God. If by chance you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.”

Yesterday, we had a small group of friends over to our house, and celebrated Thanksgiving.

There are many friends that were on my mind, and I have not had the inclination to call all of them, I did Facetime with a few of them that I have been particularly missing.

As Kirk and I prepared our meal, we all gathered in the kitchen and reminisced about some of the Thanksgivings in our past.

We talked about those more unfortunate than us, and we very grateful for our lives, the blessings in it, and the people that surround us. We talked about purpose, and that if you have said “no” to one idea, that Spirit still has work for you to do. That no matter what you do, that somehow Spirit expresses through you.

Many thanks to all of you for being in my life, for blessing me, and I thank you.









So, Imagine that the company you work for held a poll, and asked everyone if they thought it would be a good idea to put a soda machine in the break room. The poll came back, and the majority of your colleagues said “Yes”, indicating that they would like a soda machine. Some said no, but the majority said yes. So, a week later, there’s a soda machine.

Now imagine that Bill in accounting voted against the soda machine. He has a strong hatred for caffeinated soft drinks, thinks they are bad you you, whatever. He campaigns throughout the office to get the machine removed. Well, management decides “OK, we’ll ask again” and again, the majority of people say “Yes, lets keep the soda machine.”

Bill continues to campaign, and management continues to ask the employees, and every time, the answer is in favor of the soda machine. This happens, lets say… 35 times. Eventually, Bill says “OK, I’M NOT PROCESSING PAYROLL ANYMORE UNTIL THE SODA MACHINE IS REMOVED”, so nobody will get paid unless management removes the machine.

What should we do???

Answer: Fire Bill and get someone who will do the fucking job.

Bonus: Bill tells everyone that he was willing to “Negotiate”, to come to a solution where everyone got their payroll checks, but only so long as that negotiation capitulated to his demand to remove the soda machine.

Bill is a fucking jackass.