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I have been involved with the AidsLifecycle ride for 10 years, but last year after the ride I took the year off, the ride is over and I did manage not to get involved for the whole year.

I did host one of the riders who comes from out of town every Friday night, that was good. I will look forward to seeing her again this year.

My friend Greg died this year, I will miss him, he was one of those people who just gives and gives. I think he felt it kept him alive, he wasn’t one of the those people who just curls up and waits to die, he wants to be involved with managing his care, seeing his friends, and living his life as full as he can until, there is no more life to give. I loved him and will miss him. One of my great joys was making myself available to just walk with him twice a week to try to increase his strength, so that he could have the heart surgeries he needed. He did have them, but I think he was ready to go.

Life has big changes coming up soon, more about that  later.


Everyday compassion for the dead—and the living | Religion News Service

By Omid Safi

August 24, 2012

The image is a simple one, poignant.
There, slouched over on the chair, is an elderly man.
He’s not resting, nor is he asleep.
He has just died, right there in the middle of a busy Chinese station.

The crowd gathers, many overcome with astonishment.  Many are shocked, and the looks on their faces reveal their awe that in the very midst of their hustle and bustle, they stand in the presence of death.   The fabric of their mundane life has been shattered.

And there is the monk who decides not to be compassionate by proxy.

The monk reaches over to the newly deceased, putting his hand on the departed, and stands there praying.

There, on the monk’s face, is the look of utter serenity.   His reaction is not based on his own emotions, but based on that highest of imperatives:  compassion.

He cares not about what gender the deceased is, his religion, his wealth, his race, or his color.   All that matters is compassion, then and there, here and now.

The image has stayed with me, for it serves as a powerful reminder.
All of life is like this, here with us:  the joys and horrors of life, birth and death, heartache and healing, shattering and prayer.
All of this takes place in the very midst of our day-to-day life, not somewhere outside of it.

We have a choice, whether to be compassionate here and now, to all around, or to be a mere bystander.

The departed man deserved compassion, and prayer.
The living deserve no less.

Be here.

Live this Compassion
For all around.

Omid Safi is a Professor of Islamic Studies at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, specializing in contemporary Islamic thought and classical Islam. An award-winning teacher and speaker, his most recent book, “Memories of Muhammad,” looks at the biography and legacy of the Prophet Muhammad.

Many times I look at the dog and wonder, what is she really thinking? Does she hate it when I pick here up and give her kisses, and if so, why does she want in my lap all the time?

I mean, she follows me around the house, wanting me to pick her up, and yet she squirms if I giver her a kiss.

and last night was the first dream that I have had of you where we were not fighting or at odds with each other. We treated each other like we were friends.

When I woke up and realized that was the first dream where we were our old selves, I cried a bit.

For too long the dreams of you have been full of petty snipes at each other. Yes I was really hurt when our relationship ended, and we were both so angry that we said hurt full things, and the times we talked, our anger got in the way.

Though I still have not let go of every thing, I’m working on it and I wish you well.

thats what you said… and I believed you, after all, you wrote emailed almost every day.

You asked me to visit when I was in your neck of the woods, and I did, we had a great time, or I thought we did.

But after awhile you stopped writing back as much, and the return emails stretched from a couple of days to a week.

I worried because you said your health wasn’t that great. But when we caught up with each other, you said that “well you still had headaches,not as bad, but you had been busy at work.”

When the return email stretched from a week to two, I had to admit that, well you were busy and I wasn’t going to be a big part of your life, not the every day life, but I though we were still going to be friends.

Now it has been 3 weeks, and you haven’t written back, I think that now, I have to admit, that I’m not going to be part of your life, that you will still think of me as a friend, but I’m not someone you call or write to.

I think I’m going to be a facebook friend, though you don’t do facebook, yes, you have an account but you only check it once a year.

One of those friends…

and next year when on the ride, and you see me, you will tell me how much you miss me and our talks…

I will nod and pretend that we are friends…

I love it when I get an email that starts out ” I love you” or am thinking of you…

but it really sort of kills the mood, when right after that, the next words you are read are ” You have 30 minutes to send this back to 10 of your best friends , and I hope I’m one of them”

So if you love some one and are thinking of them, edit that damn email so it says ” I’m thinking of you ”

and I bet you will get more of a response than with that 30 minute time deadline.

I love blonds, I really do something about them just tickles my fancy.

Today at the gym, there was a treat for me. Well okay it wasn’t a treat for me, but it was a treat for my eyes.

I was working on the chest machines , and I take a 60 count to rest between sets, and I looked up, and there in my gaze was this young man, anywhere between 28 and 36 I’d guess, probably on the younger side, well that’s what I thought until he lifted up his shirt and I saw his treasure trail.

I’m getting ahead of myself, anyway I looked up and I saw him in the free weight section taking off his outer jacket and that showed off his shoulder and arms. He wasn’t huge, just developed nicely, and not very tall, just a little shorter than me.

“Nice” I thought to myself, ” I hope he comes in here “.

I went back to working out and I looked for him, but he didn’t come into the room where I was, so after awhile I decided I’d better go to the other room, but just then he walked into the room that I was in.

He was working his chest on one of the cable machines, it was a nice chest , but when he worked his chest he was leaning into the cables and placing his legs in such a way that it showed off the curves of his ass. I was thoroughly enjoying the view.

I think he noticed me watching him, he did keep looking my way, but he didn’t smile, or hold his eyes too long or anything that would have set my gaydar off. But when I did get water, he looked me right in the eyes, and we nodded to each other.

Later in the locker room, he turned and looked at me as I left.

I have changed the name of my blog, I think the new name is a closer explanation of what my life is about and the things I am going through.

I was born in the year of the Monkey (Chinese horoscope) and sometimes I feel like I am dragging myself through life, so that is my new name.

The old name, well I still like it and it appears on my other blogs in other places.

I’m sitting here at Wendy’s having some Chili and Asian Style Buffalo Wings. I have had a cold for the last week, and am back at work, but not ready to get back to the gym.

I forgot to put a book in the car, so I’m sitting here looking at the back of the little placemat they put in your food tray. On the back they suggest that you have Family game night, and then they give you a few ideas, and that’s all fine, but I have no kids, so the games they suggest, we are not going to be playing, maybe when we get really older.

Also, on the back of this placemat, there is this silly game where they have this drawing, which has a thousand little drawing of animals, electrical tools, car planes, and whatever all jumbled up, upside down and sideways, and you are supposed to have a competition to see how can find the most of whatever they suggest that you find.

So I am sitting there by myself looking at this thing. Category “Things you can eat” so I see a picture of a cow, I think to myself, well I suppose you can eat a cow, but I don’t think of a cow as something you can eat, well not until after you butcher it, process it and all that stuff, so no, a cow is not something you eat.

Next up… a picture of a baby bottle, well you eat what in a baby bottle, but you don’t eat baby bottles, well okay I know technically it’s a drink, but I think they mean eat or drink.

So that one is a no, no eating of baby bottles, next up, a picture of a tomato, that one is a definite yes. I eat tomatoes.

Peaches, yes, oranges, yes, apples, yes, electric drills, no, fishbowls, no, tennis rackets no.

Next up, Salt and Pepper shakers, well one uses Salt and pepper to season your food, but one does not eat salt and Peppers shakers, so that’s a no.

Anyway that’s my day.